I thought I knew this part of myself. I though that that wall that I had built up was pretty strong. Strong enough to withstand getting hurt again. But we live and we learn. Some girls just put a spell on you. Once you inhale those fumes you are done for. Why must this always be the story with me though? Whenever I find a really great girl that is perfect girlfriend material she's never ready to commit or something similar. I try and explain that the right girl for me can make me become a better man. A man worthy of her love. That is basically one of my biggest aspirations. Coz I'm pretty much 30 and how many chances does life throw at you? 

This is by far my most personal post.

The Return

Deciding to write again. Why not. What does it cost me? Nothing. I just feel like it needs to happen so it's happening. Probably about Music because it's still one of the only things that still lights a fire within me. I recently thought I had all my music stolen and it really made me feel like less of a person. I felt like my greatness richness lied in that folder with all my sacred music. It's my biggest escape and inspiration. (Inspiring shit) 

Everything and Nothing

Last night lying in bed, that almost insurmountable fear came over me. Death. Dying. It's probably the most common fear that we all share. If I honestly think about it for more than 60 seconds I become terrified, agitated and desperate. It seems like death rules all of us from the very beginning. 

Maybe its best to embrace it, be friends with it like Jim Morrison used to do. There is a chemical that gets released in the brain that exudes acceptance and calmness especially regarding their not so certain, dead future. If this chemical could be isolated and transformed into something into humans could ingest and feel the benefits of, things might seem to look up in this world. If it were integrated into society we might not feel the need to scurry all day, racing to the finish line before we even know what any of it is even about. Valid Ramblings? 

I've been thinking about this for a while. This current generation of music fans don't relate to music in the same way that people in the 80's or even the 90's used to. It's hard to explain but listening to Whitney Houston's "Saving all my love for you" has helped me understand that that sort of music has almost outdated its credibility in the eyes and ears of many modern youths. It's a sad thing because the feeling and emotional context of these songs have everlasting meaning and application. Listening to Donna Summer or Diana Ross now may very easily be seen as a joke when played to a crowd. As music becomes more disposable, as does the feelings correlated within it.  Lil B prolly knows what I'm talking about. 

Someone from the Aland Islands downloaded one of my edits on soundcloud. Just to show you how amazing that is THIS is where its located! My SoundCloud

Underworld-8 Ball - Skip to 4:43 and you'll see what I'm on about.


Its from the soundtrack for the 2000 film 'The Beach' starring Leonardo DeCaprio and Tilda Swinton. Some people regard it as a cult from and others as a flop. Nevertheless, this song remains true in heart and in mind.

Katy Perry-Wide Awake (Kinsky Echoquest Mix)

The above is an example of how I just add echoes to shit and try and make it like something worth involving yourself in.


More Re-works of mine: http://soundcloud.com/lbellesi